Ruminations Of A Country Girl......

2012-02-06T20:44:00.007-05:00

it don't matter what he said, child.
love don't act like that.
rid your mind of those lies, child.
he ain't where it's at.

i got love that purifies.
solidifies.
doesn't victimize.
it don't matter what he said,
child.
love don't act like that.

take back what is yours, child.
don't let him come stealin' round.
love... it ain't no thief, child.
it ain't gonna bring you down.

so get down on your knees, child.
it's time to restore your crown.
they're dancin' round the throne for you.
grace is showerin' down.

i love you so very wild, child...
so don't listen to what he say.
you're about to be adorned, child...
you're a phoenix and you're rising today.

2011-09-21T12:22:00.000-05:00

nature art...

be still.... and KNOW.

-God

2011-06-02T18:49:00.008-05:00

gentle is what you were... at a time when life and circumstances were very ungentle.
i don't remember you ever uttering a harsh word.

an oasis is what you were.....
an island where i first let it all out, wrapped in a blanket, sitting on the end of your bed.
the filtered sun coming through the bedroom skylight,
casting morning shadows on the patchwork quilt.
you barely having the sleep out of your eyes.
but you listened.
every single word you took in.
and that is what you did every time after.

you had plans but you canceled them.
"nothing is more important", you told me.
if only i still believed that.

you always knew tears were coming before i even did.
you wouldn't let me run away.... or lash out.
you just sat me in your lap and let me cry.
let me vent.
you never uttered a harsh word.
you understood... sometimes even when i didn't.

i wanted to write this to thank you.
that seems so small.
in some ways, you saved my life.
that is, you made me really want to LIVE.
the oppression, anxiety, and anger were never there when you were around.

and now i know.
since Love visited in the flesh...
now....
nothing less.

2011-01-27T09:51:00.002-05:00

Home

i'll paint the fences white for you
if you tell me you're coming home.

i'll put candles in the windowsills
to guide you in the gloam.

i'll wear your favorite dress and put a flower in my hair.
i'll warm the stove and light the fire
and sweep the front porch stairs.

i'll bake your favorite cake for you...
if you really are coming home.

i'll put away every fear for you,
if never more you shall roam.

2011-01-17T17:26:00.006-05:00

On, in , and around Mondays: Cyclic

anxiety because he didn't show again... and is giving me the silent treatment.
but then peace, as we cross the WV border with bluegrass blaring on the radio... and a life-giving talk with my sister, ensuring that everything is and will be fine.

a memorial service for a spit-fire hillbilly woman who inspired me to fight... who stood up to a giant and fought for her beloved mountains.
but then guilt, when little one asks to leave because it's making him sad.
we walk around a while and then come back. he joins in chanting, "what would judy do? fight harder!" and stomps his feet. "this IS the year mountaintop removal will end!!"

driving in the dark to the lodge... nestled in the west virginia hills.
a much needed reprieve for both of us.
me, downtrodden, because no matter how much glue i apply, it just won't stick.
because i opened my heart up again... and failed.
him, hopes aroused but unmet.... tears over homework assignments that ended up being tears of a deeper nature. tears over something i can't fix.

but in all this cycle of sadness, anxiety, disappointment, we wake to a sunrise over the deep canyon. blue mountain majesty. bringing peace to a mother and son.
nature is crying out over judy..... nature is crying out over broken things...
because even the rocks and hills will cry out.

and then this verse.... "he will quiet you with his love".

2010-12-06T12:12:00.003-05:00

if you knew how i watched you while you slept
and how much pressure i felt
pushing against the insides
of my metaphorical heart
then maybe you'd understand

how the same heart
feels
when i crumble on the
kitchen floor
every time you leave me...

even when you are present.

2010-11-23T12:10:00.015-05:00

sometimes i dream
that i walk down the gravel lane,
past the moss covered granite...
the angel presiding over the tiny plot
of the little child
for whom i created a life in my childhood imaginings.
the one i talked to
and wove flowers for,
along the ground where she rested.
a reminder that the soil of my youth
had been tended by the toil and tears
of lives without longevity.
the dichotomy of my childhood bliss
forming a contrite heart.

i wake to a vapor of
unsettled nostalgia,
a distant sort of longing that rises and dissipates
almost as tangibly
as the groggy remains of sleep.

sometimes i dream
that every acre of land now has a house.
the farm that raised me no longer the sentinel
of the bottomland
and the field of daffodils
that a kindred of miss rumphius sowed,
maybe imagining pig-tailed girls carrying
bouquets so big,
their hands aching on the walk back
to scatter their harvest in jars and cups
along windowsills and farm tables.

i wake
and the panic flees with the weighty sleep.
the knowing
allows peace
to continue watering the kentucky soil
planted in the fields of my heart.

2010-11-20T08:59:00.008-05:00

November's Story....

(in other words....traveling with my band, family time, harvesting, music, and enjoying nature's fall show...)

2010-09-27T15:43:00.015-05:00

i wrote a prayer for you on shale.
i wrote it carefully.
then turned it over
and covered it with leaves,
so that the rain
wouldn't wash the message away.
i left it along the trail.

it may still be there.

the tears may wash the prayer
out of my heart.
or they might harden
and solidify
and make a barrier.
and i will forget
that i longed so much
for you to know the things i wrote.

but the earth knows..

and Love knows.

and my hope is that
maybe....
someday...
they will conspire together
to manifest earthen prayers,
buried under leaves.
even if the elements
conspire otherwise....

2010-08-20T12:28:00.007-05:00

i have snuffed out this candle,
again and again,
determined to live
without the light it casts.
i don't see the shadows
when it's dark.

eventually
enough stumbling,
groping,
hoping,
reignites it,
long enough
to gather
bearings.
then the leaning over,
exhaling,
exterminating.

brief solace.
i will let you light it now.
when you are ready
for the shadows.

2010-08-18T09:12:00.010-05:00

Summer's Bounty...
(or a photo tribute to learning to garden as a townie, in smaller spaces. all the bounty and flowers are from my yard, except the berries, which were found along a nearby trail)

2010-08-17T09:07:00.005-05:00

"Nature is, above all, profligate.

Don't believe them when they tell you how economical and thrifty nature is,
whose leaves return to the soil.
Wouldn't it be cheaper to leave them on the tree in the first place?
This deciduous business alone is a radical scheme,
the brainchild of a deranged manic-depressive with limitless capital.
Extravagance!
Nature will try anything once."

-annie dillard

(photo: rose of sharon blossoms drifting in a pond)

2010-08-15T09:17:00.002-05:00

love note

surrounded by strangers
not acclimated to this air
i am right here
you're over there

ask to borrow my days
they are already lent
i've been on a spree
everything is spent

there is no change
nothing to give back
i poured it all out
from the longing....
and the lack

of air that is familiar.

2010-06-05T10:49:00.001-05:00

2010-05-28T20:36:00.002-05:00

transient thoughts...

i was feeling heavy on the inside as i walked carefully on the old bricks, dodging the tree roots where they bulged up out of the ground and broke apart the path.
a slight drizzle began, and i slowed down and turned my focus upward for a moment, trying to read the sky.
but then the drizzle turned into a downpour, and i stepped underneath the shelter of a giant, aged oak tree.... a little reprieve.... a deep breath.
as i inhaled, a drop of saltwater began to trickle down my cheek, as if to show unity with the decision of the skies that day.
the funny thing was, that, in perfect synchronization, one huge raindrop made it through the leafy canopy and fell onto me.
i wondered, as it slid onto my forehead, if it picked up the scent of my hair on the way.
it continued to heed the law of gravity, and slowly trickled down my face and mingled with the drop of saltwater that had escaped the confines of that still broken place.
i felt its path as it slid onto my shoulder and then watched it get washed into the cracks of the sidewalk.... my tear, my scent, my skin mixed in with it.
i thought about where it had been in all its journeys... millions of years making its way through the earth and into rivers and air and clouds.
who else had once been in that raindrop?
whose scent and skin cells and tears and dust had it held, only to purify itself across stones? make it all void and start all over again.

then i exhaled and stepped out from under the tree.
i took my shoes off and let my feet sink down into the wet earth and grass.
i stood there and let my skin absorb every drop it could. life was in those drops of rain.
and i loved it all during that ephemeral moment.
i loved the wet dirt, the slimy bricks, the feel of my soaked dress clinging to my skin.
i looked over and saw a little old lady watching me from her porch swing......
and i think i loved her most of all.

2010-05-01T08:49:00.000-05:00

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
the only life you could save.

-mary oliver

2010-03-13T12:49:00.003-05:00

she has always been one that feels the magic...
sometimes it stays just long enough to jot it down,
or chord it out, or capture it on film...
like how the light plays on a particular scene,
at just the right angle.
but she mostly has to be content
with savoring the brief glimpses,
without any documentation...
absorbing it fully at that very moment...
and walking away with stars in her head,
and a twinkle in her eye....

2010-03-09T20:44:00.004-05:00

"When you have a child, you have to put things aside, though. You have to live for them, if not for yourself. I was aware of this. I knowed that I could not let myself die inside, so I struggled through and made a way for myself. Most important, I tried to find a way to get joy into my life. I had to have it there for Birdie's sake. She would have knowed if I was miserable, even if I smiled until my jaws ached. I couldn't just fake being all right; I really had to be.

So the rest of that year, I made a way for the possibility of joy. I looked for it anywhere I could find it. I got up early and left Birdie in the bed while I stepped out onto the porch to see the day come in.

Daylight is the time God moves about the best. I've heard people say that they liked to watch the world come awake. But the world is always awake; sunlight just makes it seeable. In that moment when light hit the mountain, when the sun cracked through the sky big enough to make a noise if our ears could hear it, I would be aware again of all the things that had been going on throughout the night. Morning just made it easier to hear. Light takes away the muteness.

I would stand there, frozen to death, but the cold made me see that I was alive, that I could feel everything I was meant to. You have to seek out the promise of joy, no matter what your circumstances..."

-Silas House
'A Parchment of Leaves'

2010-03-06T10:09:00.004-05:00

These boys performing in my town.....

Combined with the third blizzard of the season blowing through....

Equals having four awesome people snowed into my house and being serenaded at whim...

What a lucky gal I am!

2010-01-01T14:28:00.004-05:00

a new years eve... in retrospect.

i sprinkled on faerie dust.... on my face, and neck, and chest. i wanted to sparkle.
i braided my hair, and wore blue for you, to match my eyes, as you would say.
it had snowed, and the sky was brilliantly clear.
we put on our boots at midnight and hiked through the field... to the creek.
you put your arms around me and we looked up into the firmament, at the millions of sparkling lights, strung out before us..... the whole world was on fire at that very moment.
in the absolute quiet, on the blanketed ground, you whispered in my ear about the time you were sitting on a rock, overlooking the pacific ocean.... and a huge, brilliant, colorful light exploded in the distance. it woke you out of your reverie. it was your ebenezer. that there was so much more out there, things so much bigger than ourselves that we may never understand..... that we just get brief glimpses of.

you wanted to share that with me.
so in the hushed valley, on that cold, snow blanketed night, we spread out our love, like a feast. the heavens came down and joined in. and i was brought out of my deadness.... i was woken out of my reverie.

2009-12-27T22:34:00.003-05:00

whisper

in the hush
away
i want to lean
into you
whisper
sacred things
in supine repose
so many voices
outshout
i still whisper
softly,
alone.

2009-11-22T12:54:00.007-05:00

The Highlight of my Year......

...was meeting Jean Ritchie at this year's Appalachian Festival. She was the Capstone Performer and the day's events ended with a performance by her in the historic Palace Theatre. I was so giddy with excitement that I blushed and giggled like a schoolgirl when I was talking to her. She's MY American Idol.

Born in Viper, KY, Jean Ritchie was really the first person to introduce the mountain dulcimer to the world outside of the Appalachian Mountains. She left Eastern Kentucky in the 1940's to do social work in New York, and she brought her dulcimer and old family songs with her. Many of the songs I sing are her versions, and a lot were actually written by her.

I was so moved during the performance, as were most people. Jean is now in her 80's, and although her voice falters, she still has a pure, unadulterated voice that is unmatched, as she grew up without any of the outside influences that today's traditional musicians have. I will treasure the experience.....

2009-07-14T09:59:00.013-05:00

Finding Common Ground....

This past Sunday, I gathered with friends and spent the afternoon getting this 405 acre farm in Western Maryland ready for the first annual Common Ground on Martins Mountain Festival:

My friend and former neighbor, Jon Felton, is the brain child for this music festival. It will bring musicians together from a four state region, and it will also have an environmental-sustainability emphasis that focuses on regional issues.

We all brought hammers and gloves and worked through the afternoon cleaning and preparing the Coffeehouse/Music Barn:

and building the music stage for the Ruckus Tent (the bands playing on this one will live up to the name!)

There will be workshops all weekend on topics from gardening to wild edibles. We also lined up a speaker to do presentations on Mountaintop Removal mining and we will be doing some direct actions from the festival site, such as calling our representatives and petitioning.

It looks to be a fun, all ages festival with great music and comraderie. I'll be playing a set in the Coffeehouse barn and there will be a very eclectic line-up of musicians under the Ruckus Tent including Jon's band 'Soulmobile Eternal', and another local friend's band, 'The Christmas Lights'. A sample of their fun ruckus HERE and HERE.

(as a side note, i posted below about setting my blog to private. those who have contacted me need to send me an e-mail because i have to put in your e-mail address to send you an invitation to read. there is an e-mail link in my profile. i'm still trying to figure out how to do it! thanks.... )

2009-05-18T10:12:00.007-05:00

Swan Song...

if i were wild and free,

i'd dance joyfully....

the moonlight my company.

if i were wild and free,

i'd sigh contentedly...

your weight above me,

the earth sinking beneath.

these words you say to me...

somehow they hold the key,

to these chains that bind me.

so whisper them sweetly,

and i'll close my eyes and dream

of the day when we will be....

FREE

2009-04-30T15:34:00.007-05:00

Free Flowing...

i was peaceful before i met you,

but i wasn't smiling.... or laughing.

i wasn't lonely before i met you,

but i wasn't hopeful, either.

i thought i heard a sound when you came around...

but maybe i was just hearing things,

like when you are expecting someone

and your ears are extra alert to every noise...

you think you hear a car pull in or a door close shut,

but no one's really there.

i want you here.... and i don't.

it's too much and it's too little.

they say the journey to joy and sorrow follow the same road.

i thought I was choosing joy.

now I'm unsure of the destination....

i guess all we can do is walk.

2009-03-12T11:12:00.008-05:00

A West Virginia hoe-down and a little nepotism....

We know how to have a good time in Appalachia. I was caught on tape recently flat-footing at the Cd Release party for my friends, The Fox Hunt. If you love traditional music, you'll love their new album. It can be ordered here.

I miss all of you and hope to be posting again soon!

With Love.... Blue

2008-11-11T13:10:00.021-05:00

MY Redemption Song.....

... sounds like the creaky chains of the porch swing

as my son and i snuggle in motion,

while watching the hummingbirds at the feeder

and the morning mist slowly lift off of the mountains.

it sounds like the screech owl,

crying out from its moonlit perch by the edge of the creek...

the shrill call echoing through the dark vale.

it sounds like familiar voices of family and friends...

milk and honey flowing from their lips,

a soothing balm of comforting words.

it sounds like the strains of a fiddle,

the tapping of feet,

the crackling of an evening fire...

laughter at dusk.

sometimes it is barely audible, yet still tangible...

felt, more than heard.

in the quietness, i can still detect the faint melody.

so as the morning mist loosens its nightly hold on these hills,

this blanket begins to relinquish its smothering grip on my heart...

and new stanzas are written and imprinted

on this fallible, hopeful human soul.

2008-09-25T10:28:00.003-05:00

The Solitary Reaper

Behold her, single in the field,
Yon solitary Highland Lass!
Reaping and singing by herself;
Stop here, or gently pass!
Alone she cuts and binds the grain,
And sings a melancholy strain;
O listen! for the Vale profound
Is overflowing with the sound.

No Nightingale did ever chaunt
More welcome notes to weary bands
Of travellers in some shady haunt,
Among Arabian sands:
A voice so thrilling ne'er was heard
In spring-time from the Cuckoo-bird,
Breaking the silence of the seas
Among the farthest Hebrides.

Will no one tell me what she sings?
Perhaps the plaintive numbers flow
For old, unhappy, far-off things,
And battles long ago:
Or is it some more humble lay,
Familiar matter of to-day?
Some natural sorrow, loss, or pain,
That has been, and may be again?

Whate'er the theme, the Maiden sang
As if her song could have no ending;
I saw her singing at her work,
And o'er the sickle bending;--
I listened, motionless and still;
And, as I mounted up the hill
The music in my heart I bore,
Long after it was heard no more.

-William Wordsworth

2008-06-12T19:28:00.005-05:00

After a day of cloud and wind and rain

Sometimes the setting sun breaks out again,

And touching all the darksome woods with light,

Smiles on the fields until they laugh and sing,

Then like a ruby from the horizon's ring,

Drops down into the night.

- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Travel and Transition.... these will be the theme words for my summer. And thus, I'm afraid I won't be blogging much. But I wanted to part with this photo of the sunset from my deck. It is quite representative of my journey right now, but with hope that the dawn will be even more glorious.

I may be able to stop in here and there. And you can also e-mail me through the address on my profile if you'd like to keep in touch that way. I will miss every one of you and wish you all a wonderful summer!

2008-06-10T08:08:00.013-05:00

Speaking of Brave....

The little kitten tops that list. I thought I'd give an update on her after all the comments from the last post. Colleen apparently had some uncanny insight, as she left a comment saying that it seemed the kitten was a metaphor for our throw-away society.

After examining her, the veterinarian concluded she had blunt head trauma, most likely from being thrown out a car window.... and she'd probably have permanent neurological damage. I must have happened upon her right after she had been thrown out, thus her dazed and disoriented condition. They kept her at the clinic to observe her for 2 days and then I picked her up and brought her home. She was at least partially blind, not responding to visual stimuli. She couldn't walk... she would walk in circles and tumble down on herself. And she was having seizures about every 10 minutes. I really didn't think there was much hope for her.

I kept her in a crate in our utility room (i'm not supposed to have indoor pets) and tried to make her comfortable, but knew I'd have to make a decision about euthanizing. If her condition stayed the same, she would have a miserable life. It pained me to watch her try to walk and topple over backwards in the effort.... and how she huddled in the corner with a look of terror in her eyes before each seizure. The only hopeful sign was her appetite. She was a little piggy, and thus I nicknamed her "Miss Piggy". She also had a loud motor and purred contentedly when I held her or pet her.

We had plans to go out of town for the weekend, and Fiddlegirl agreed to keep kitty for us. When I was driving her there, Miss Piggy had the worst seizure yet, and my heart sank. I worried about her the whole weekend and knew the decision I'd probably have to make when I returned.

But amazingly, when we returned, Fiddlegirl told me she had a seizure the first night, but had none since. And she was letting the kids hold her, and was walking better. I took her home and observed the same. She was still a little wobbly, but could walk without falling over. And over the next week, she continued to improve. She still couldn't see well, but she would find me by my voice. I'd let her out of the crate when I'd be outside, and she would trot underfoot, and run around and chase Sir Laughsalot. And the seizures had completely subsided. You wouldn't have been able to guess that she was the same little kitty that I found limp and lethargic on the side of the road. I could barely keep up with her newfound energy and playfulness..

We can't have inside pets, and I knew she needed to be inside because of the blindness. But it just so happened that a local animal rescue organization was having a pet adoption fair this past weekend and told me to bring her. So I did..... and to my heart's delight, a young married couple fell in love with her there, and adopted her on the spot.

A small miracle, that reminded me about hope.....

2008-05-29T09:27:00.009-05:00

A breech in the dam.....

it was the kitten. it triggered the floodgates to open. i saw it lying on the side of the road, looking disoriented, and on the verge of getting run over.

it was early morning and i had just dropped my son off at school. i pulled over, a little haphazardly, and ran to get it before a car hit it. i picked it up, and its body went limp in my hands. its eyes were open, but not seeing. it was breathing, but it was a strained breathing.

what do i do? there was a vet's office on the way home, so i hurriedly drove there, not knowing if the kitten would make it, even that short distance. i brought it in, wrapped in a blanket, and asked what to do. "we can't look at it unless you are going to adopt it and pay all the medical expenses." what? it's hurt.... i couldn't have left it lying in the road to get hit.

"sorry", they said, "we can't do anything if it doesn't have an owner". i looked down at the lethargic kitten, with it's labored breathing. it was so tiny and pitiful. and then i felt it..... i felt it deep. i knew it had been shoved down for a long time. it came up in bits and pieces sometimes, but i was always able to push it back. i prided myself on my composure. i prided myself on being brave and strong.

but this little kitten suddenly triggered the floodwaters. all the loss, pain, sorrow, hurt..... it somehow became a symbol for that. and it happened right there in the middle of these strangers in a veterinary clinic. the saltwater trickled down just a little at first, but then came tumbling down in torrents. as hard as i tried, i couldn't close the floodgate.

"i'm sorry", i kept saying. "i don't normally do this." i could barely speak. i was just standing there at the counter, sobbing, and holding the almost lifeless kitten, with everyone staring at me. i think then they had sympathy, and agreed to look at it, if i'd sign a waiver giving permission to euthanize it if needed. "the vet doesn't like us to do this" they said, "but he's not here yet.... we'll see what we can do." they asked for all my contact info, and i had to repeat it several times for they couldn't understand me through my faltering voice.

i couldn't leave soon enough, and when i got in the car, i let the rest of the waters flow, until the dam had been thoroughly breeched. of all places, i thought to myself. i guess that's what i get for holding it in so long. i don't know how long i cried in my car..... i stayed there until my vision wasn't blurred anymore.

the sadness stayed with me all day. but i know i found the kitten for a reason. someone knows it's too much.... to be brave all the time.

2008-05-24T08:04:00.005-05:00

Oh my, oh my..... how time does fly!

It seems just weeks ago, I was watching this little, snaggle-toothed boy walk through the double doors, into his first year of school...... and feeling as if my heart were walking away from me.

This mama had a harder time transitioning to this life change than he did. I remember agonizing during the year leading up to school about the best way to educate him.... should I homeschool, put him in public school, find a private school? I wanted him to have the best possible start for his "official" education.

Now, his Kindergarten graduation is coming up next week, and I wonder how it came so soon. I'm grateful for his little, country school that gave him a great first year.

Just last week, I came with my camera and took all the kids' yearbook pictures...... and I saw in their faces and smiles, the results of a small, close-knit community school.

Yesterday, I gathered with other school moms and community members, and peeled apples, and baked apple dumplings and pies all day in the school cafeteria in preparation for the school's annual Ice Cream Social. Everyone knew each other, and the 9 hour day of baking didn't seem tedious in the least bit, with all the conversation, laughter, and shared work. Students came in and out to help.... they made signs, and decorated the school. Community, as it was meant to be. Education, as it was meant to be.... a joint effort between parents and teachers, and the local community.

And I ended my day.... and I will end this first school year.... with gratitude.

2008-05-20T14:30:00.003-05:00

feelin' the love......

I was loved on twice yesterday by two fellow bloggers. First, I received this awesome homemade citrus soap in the mail from Brandy, a gift to celebrate the opening of her new online Etsy shop. She trepidly contacted me to ask for my mailing address last week, not sure if I would give it to her. I assured her that I didn't mind, and that if I were to have a stalker, who better to have than a knitting, baking, soap-making mama who sends me free things in the mail. :) I encourage you to check her new shop out.... she has soap, cloth napkins, seeds, reusable bags, and felted goodies, with more to come. All are handmade.

Then, to add to the beauty of my day, I was contacted by L.L. Barkat, letting me know she put up this post about me. I clicked over and was moved to tears and extremely humbled by it. If that is all that ever came from my music, it would be enough.

So much love from this little blogging community of mine.... I never would have dreamt it when I put up my first post a little over a year and a half ago. Thank you, ladies... and thank ALL of you who have come into my life and moved me and encouraged me time and time again.

2008-05-16T10:08:00.014-05:00

Why...

why did you knock,

but not enter?

why did you whisper in my ear,

knowing it would echo

as a shout in my heart?

why did you find me beautiful,

only to leave me ugly?

why did you come,

only to go?

you came,

my heart to accost....

i once was found, but now am lost.

2008-05-13T16:39:00.009-05:00

Stars

Here in my head, language

Keeps making its tiny noises.

How can I hope to be friends

with the hard white stars

whose flaring and hissing

are not speech

but a pure radiance?

How can I hope to be friends

with the yawning spaces

between them

where nothing, ever, is

spoken?

Tonight, at the edge of the

field,

I stood very still, and looked

up,

and tried to be empty of

words.

What joy was it, that almost

found me?

What amiable peace?

Then it was over, the wind

roused up in the oak trees

behind me

and I fell back, easily.

Earth has a hundred

thousand pure contraltos--

even the distant night bird

as it talks threat, as it talks

love

over the cold, black fields.

Once, deep in the woods,

I found the white skull of a

bear

and it was utterly silent--

and once a river otter, in a

steel trap,

and it too was utterly silent.

What can we do

but keep on breathing in and out,

modest and willing, and in

our places?

Listen, listen, I'm forever

saying,

Listen to the river, to the

hawk, to the hoof

to the mockingbird, to the

jack-in-the-pulpit--

then I come up with a few

words, like a gift.

Even as now.

Even as the darkness has

remained the pure, deep

darkness.

Even as the stars have

twirled a little, while I stood

here,

looking up,

one hot sentence after

another.

~Mary Oliver

2008-05-09T09:23:00.017-05:00

You are my ship

that didn't come in,

sailing on the waves

of what might have been...

2008-05-07T08:11:00.002-05:00

Wordless Wednesday
"Boys Just Wanna Have Fun...."

(for more wordless wednesdays, go here)

2008-05-05T19:16:00.006-05:00

The Don Shows His Hand........

THIS is why we can't get anything done about the devastation being caused by the coal industry in our state:

As you can see, our politicians in WV are mostly bought.... and not just our politicians, but our states' DEP. Despite all of this controversy, Spike Maynard is running for re-election. And on the Republican ticket, running unopposed, is Beth Walker, wife of the Vice President of Walker Machinery, the company that makes millions of dollars selling equipment for MTR sites.

And Don Blankenship, the CEO of Massey Energy, who attacked the reporter in the video? He just told the Wall Street Journal that his goal for the upcoming year is to open a new mine every 17 days. Denny posted about it on our End MTR blog here. It's absolutely maddening...

Meanwhile, study after study is showing the ill-effects coal is having on people's health in the coalfields, how it is the major contributor to global warming, and how more and more mountains are being blown to smithereens to extract it. Our state is being raped daily. And when the Coal is gone, there will be nothing left. The hills that have sustained the mountain people here for generations will be no longer and WV residents will be left with nothing.

It's wrong on every level.....

2008-05-03T08:21:00.005-05:00

Nature Art

(Taken on a Spring hike behind my house....)

2008-04-30T09:04:00.014-05:00

Why Am I Fainting?

Hmm.... Four hours of intensive instruction each day, afternoon workshops, evening concerts, and late night jams. This low-key, homebody, mountainmama isn't used to that kind of schedule.

But the vibrant energy of the Dulcimer Week kept me going. I learned enough to keep me occupied for months and months to come..... which was exactly my goal. My wonderful instructor, Jeff Sebens (below), met us exactly where we were.... and taught in just the right way. He challenged us and took us to the next level on our instruments, but didn't give us so much new information that we became glassy-eyed and overwhelmed.

Of course, it didn't hurt that all our classes were held on the gorgeous Davis & Elkins College campus with its historic buildings and lush greenery. Our class was held in the Victorian Halliehurst building:

And this was our classroom... the parlor of Halliehurst, with its ornate fireplace, high ceilings, beautiful paintings, and old woodwork:

Spring was in full bloom and sights like this greeted me on the footpaths between classes and events:

Another added bonus was that my mom was one of the instructors, and we got to room together. We've never had a whole week together like that.

Good medicine, folks..... good medicine......

2008-04-27T18:29:00.005-05:00

Seneca Spring.....

This was just one of the many beautiful Spring sights I saw in my travels this past week. The mountain roadsides were lush with Redbud, Dogwood, Phlox, and many other blooming trees and wildflowers. These lovely trees happened to be at the base of Seneca Rocks.... majestic in every season.

I'll post soon about the Dulcimer retreat..... after I unpack and unwind from my intensive, but fun week.

2008-04-20T08:56:00.003-05:00

Strains from a dulcimer........

....will be flooding and surrounding my senses this week. I am off today to cash in my birthday/Christmas/Mother's day gift, wrapped up in one intensive week-long Dulcimer workshop.

I hope to come home next weekend no longer an 'advanced beginner'.... taking the step to the intermediate level.... woohoo! :) And Fiddlegirl and I, (above on Easter Sunday), will have some new repertoire.

Dulcimer is literally translated 'sweet melody'..... and it's haunting and sweet strains have been echoing through these ancient mountains since the first Scotch, Irish, and English settlers settled here. If you have a moment, stop over and read this beautiful poem from a post that a MySpace friend so kindly dedicated to me. Thank you, Little Pup.

See you next week!

2008-04-16T08:57:00.017-05:00

Alex....

when i tried to sit down and write this last year, on the first anniversary, i couldn't.

the tears flowed so heavily that i couldn't even see the computer screen.

the words weren't ripe yet.... it was too soon.

in this season of quiet in my heart, where i have been trying to sort through some sadness in my life , the words have finally come.

i told your sister i would write about you. and now it's time.

when she called me that morning and told me, she was so calm.

i didn't believe her at first. but then i understood. i think we all knew it was coming.

all my childhood memories of us came flooding back....

the most prominent, when you really established a permanent place in my heart, was a time when we were sitting in my bedroom together.

i was crying because my big sister had locked her door and wouldn't let me come in and play with her and your sister.

i thought she was trying to steal my friends.

you put your arm around me, looked in my eyes, and said,

"don't worry, amy. no one will ever steal me away from you."

that's just how you were. even though you were younger than me, you wanted to be my protector.

we spent almost a decade together, trodding back and forth on the forest path that we had made to connect our farms.

one day, while playing in the hundreds of acres of woods, we stumbled upon our special place and we named it 'paradise'.

it was a little clearing in the woods, where water pooled beneath a small, trickling waterfall.

it was our secret spot. we gathered old flowers that people dumped at the back of the cemetery and placed them in the ground, and weaved them through tree branches.

we cleared the brush and thorns away. it was beautiful and magical to us. we spent almost every day there.

but when we were older, my family moved away. your family stayed.
our paradise got overgrown, and the thorns grew back.

we talked regularly, wrote letters, and visited. we grew up.

you grew into a tall, handsome, caring young man.

but we both struggled with inner turmoil and poor life choices in our later teen years.

during those years, i thought the best way to deal with my problems was to run from them.

i ran away from home, and ended up on your front porch once.

your family took me in, and provided comfort and reassurance. my parents knew i was safe there.

once again, you acted as my protector.

we spent long evenings on the couch, talking into the wee hours of the morning.

we talked about the realities of growing up, our disappointments, the bittersweetness of it all. we longed for our innocent, carefree days of childhood.

one morning, after a very late night, i awoke to hammering.... and found you outside, hammering a dent out of my car that had been there forever.

you wanted to surprise me before you left for work.

you tried to give me your hard-earned money during my stay, because you knew i had little.

you brought me gifts to cheer me up. you wanted to know i'd be okay.

eventually, i garnered the courage to return home. i was able to sort through my problems, heal, and take control of my life again.

but, dear alex, you weren't so lucky.

i'm not sure what the difference was.

i guess big boys don't cry.... they just turn reckless to hide the pain inside.

you fell into the oppression of that area where we grew up.

you turned to drugs.

and the next time i visited, i found you in a place that scared me deeply.

all i could do was plead with you and pray.

shortly after returning home from that last trip, i received news that you were in jail.

i wrote to you..... probably one of the longest letters ever.

and you wrote back, and sent me a picture of you and your family.

you said it was the only picture you had with you in jail, but you wanted me to have it.

you ALWAYS wanted to GIVE...... that was your true heart.

we wrote regularly during that year.

you wrote of your regrets... and your hopes and dreams for when you got out.

you were confident that you could reclaim your life, and i believed you.

those letters were our last regular correspondence. you got released early for good behavior.... and you started your own roofing business. you began carving out a life for yourself, and working to find inner peace. but you were never quite able to find it. but it wasn't drugs anymore.... it became speed. your dad warned you about your motorcycle, and your recklessness on it.

he even called my dad and voiced his fear for you.

and one evening, almost two years ago, your dad's fears were realized. a beautiful soul, taken too soon.

' i got the call today....

my childhood friend has gone away.

he took that ride that took his life...

friend, i hope you've found your paradise.'

Alex (1978-2006)

Rest in peace, Alex....

2008-04-15T05:16:00.008-05:00

YOU

I finally told someone about you.

I said your name out loud.

I whispered it into the universe....

and I told my closest confidante.

It made us real.... not a figment of my imagination.

Not a secret to hide.

It felt good.

But when I got home, you were gone.

And it made me sad.

But now someone knows about you.

They know you came and perched on my windowsill,

even though it was only for a short while.

They know that somehow you made me believe that I'll fly again...

that I may be able to find my song again.

And that's how I know you were real.

2008-04-10T18:47:00.008-05:00

The best pick-up line, EVER!

or 'How you know you're raising a country boy'......

Sir Laughsalot, my son, takes great pride in our compost pile. He has put himself in charge of emptying the big yogurt container that I use for kitchen scraps.... and if he catches me trying to throw any organic matter in the trash can, he intercedes, saying in an exacerbated voice, "Mommy! You can COMPOST that!!!"

He spends hours gathering grass, pine needles, leaves.... and adds them to the pile and stirs it faithfully with a big stick.

Sir Laughsalot also loves waitresses. Everywhere we eat, he befriends the waitresses with his charming good-looks and friendly banter. Recently, one young, friendly waitress particularly caught his eye.... and when she sat down at the counter to take a lunch break, he saddled up next to her...leaned in close.... smiled, and said with all sincerity, "You wanna share my compost?"

2008-04-09T07:08:00.004-05:00

Wordless Wednesday

"Children and Nature"...

"Let them once get in touch with nature and a habit is formed which will be a source of delight and habit through life."

-Charlotte Mason

(A great article on what has been termed 'Nature Deficit Disorder' in kids is here..... a worthwhile read, especially for parents and educators. For more Wordless Wednesdays, go here.)

2008-04-07T13:06:00.004-05:00

Wine and Secrets...........

..... both poured forth at the table. The corner table with the scent of weeping cherry tree blossoms tinging the air, Ray LaMontagne playing on the laptop... that table in our little, rented room became our confession box.

Whispering into the late evening hours... laughing... sharing our hearts. Nourishment for our aching and weary souls. Burdens revealed and lifted for a sweet, short while.

After being apart for nearly a year and a half, a weekend of bliss with my sister........

2008-04-02T08:53:00.003-05:00

Wordless Wednesday
"Timeless"

"I think the extent to which I have any balance at all, any mental balance, is because of being a farm kid and being raised in those isolated rural areas."

- James E. Jones

(more wordless wednesdays here.)

2008-03-29T08:56:00.013-05:00

Turn Off the Lights!!!

From 8 p.m. to 9 p.m., local time, tonight for Earth Hour, to show solidarity and commitment towards Energy Conservation. I will take it one step further and leave electronics and lights off all evening and light our oil lamps.

Also, on another note, but related to energy, our Stop Mountaintop Removal Blog has moved to its own domain. The new address is EndMTR.com. Denny has done an excellent job setting up the new site and we also have several new co-authors, including Shirley Stewart Burns, author of 'Bringing Down the Mountains'. Check in regularly for updates, related issues, and action steps.

Let's send a message tonight.....

2008-03-24T09:15:00.011-05:00

The Colors Of Easter....

Resurrection Day......

My alarm woke me at 5:15, as I was in our church's Easter play this year and we were performing it during the Sunrise Service. I got up in the pre-dawn light and shuffled about quietly, so as not to awake my other two sleeping beauties. It was a quiet drive to church and Easter morning dawned gloriously....albeit being quite chilly. It was a 'big sky' day, as I call them here in the mountains..... when the skies are clear and vast, with just specklings of clouds.

Easter Sunday is always very special for me, even more so than Christmas. The hope and celebration resonate in me. The celebration and joy that came after 3 days of darkness.... three days of hopelessness and despair.... deadness... when Jesus' followers thought the Light had gone away forever.... not quite believing His promise that He would rise from the dead.

As one who has struggled with depression in her life, the hope that my Saviour brings....the promise that there will always be a Resurrection morning, is what keeps rivers of Life flowing in my heart and soul. Despite dark times and times of sadness, I have always been a relentlessly optimistic, hopeful person and see beauty in the journey, even during the dark times. And I'm always reminded of that on Easter morning. Colors are more vibrant, light seems brighter, and hope springs eternal, when you view the world in light of the resurrection.

I hope all of you had as beautiful a Resurrection Day as I....

2008-03-20T18:08:00.006-05:00

Reflections...

My trail of tears,

where did it start?

I follow it like bread crumbs,

that lead back to my heart.

2008-03-18T15:51:00.008-05:00

Fire..... Ice

Warmth.... Cold

Light.... Dark

If our fingertips touched, would mine freeze? Or would yours melt?

Would your breath suck all the warmth from my bones? Or could mine ignite the tiny ember that is still ablaze in your heart?

Inhale...... I'll breathe on you.....

Exhale...... You breathe on me.....

I want to see.

2008-03-11T16:23:00.008-05:00

"It is of the soul, and of the soul alone, that we can say with supreme truth that 'BEING' necessarily means 'being on the way'...."

-Gabriel Marcel

( photo taken on an appalachian backroad in fall.... and i will be taking a week or so off from blogdom to spend some much needed quiet time with my soul and heart, away from the distraction of the computer. much love, friends...... )

2008-03-09T09:18:00.011-05:00

Saturday night and the moon is out

I wanna head on over to the Twist and Shout

Find a two-step Partner and a cajun beat

When it lifts me up, I'm gonna find my feet

Out in the middle of a big dance floor

When I hear that fiddle wanna beg for more..

-Mary Chapin Carpenter

Fiddlegirl asked me to help play for a square dance a couple of weeks ago at the local Senior Center. As there's not a whole lot going on most Saturdays and I enjoy playing (and dancing), I obliged her. I'm telling you, those retirees know how to have a good time.... they had more energy than me! When I would take a break from playing to dance, they wouldn't let me sit any dances out, even when I was exhausted. I'd get grabbed back up on the dance floor.

And since our hubbies wouldn't dance, Fiddlegirl and I waltzed together. I made her be the guy. :) It was a fun night.... a perfect remedy for winter blahs, which I think we all had.

2008-03-04T12:58:00.007-05:00

When I took my son to his first day of Kindergarten this past fall, we walked past the school flower beds and I noticed how overgrown they were. I could tell that someone had put a lot of effort into them at some point, but they had been sadly neglected for quite a while. "What a waste", I thought.

I knew I wanted to volunteer in some means at the school, so I asked about the flower gardens. Apparently, a former teacher had started them with her students.... but she had since retired and no one else had continued her work. They told me how she loved flowers and would take the kids on spring wildflower walks and drives, and try to instill in them the wonder of nature, and the excitement of seeing the first spring blooms pop up.

I knew then what my task would be during the fall. I started coming on warm afternoons and tried to sort through what were weeds and what were flowers. When you aren't the one that did the planting, and everything is done blooming and beginning to turn brown, it can be hard to decipher what's what. So I did my best to walk delicately amongst the beds, and took my time deciding what needed to be pulled out, what was choking the flowers..... and what should stay.

And my reward came when I picked my son up from school last week..... when I saw these first delicate little blooms had emerged from the ground. I felt relieved that there was still life in the garden.... that I got to it in time, before the weeds had done irreversible damage.

I still have a ways to go, as winter came a little too quickly. There are several more beds I haven't gotten to yet. But in the meantime, I'll enjoy this little section of cleared bed, where sunshine can now hit and where there is enough room for the flowers that were so lovingly planted by an involved teacher, to breathe and come forth.

2008-02-28T20:50:00.012-05:00

Ani lyrics of the day:

I'm okay

if you get me at a good angle

and you're okay

in that sort of light

and we don't look

like pages from a magazine

but that's all right

that's all right

I crashed your pickup truck

and then I had to drive it back home

I was crying

I was so scared

of what you would do

of what you would say

but you just started laughing

so I started laughing along

saying, it looks a little rough

but it runs okay

it looks a little rough

but it runs good anyway

we get a little further from perfection

each year on the road

I guess that's what they call character

I guess that's just the way it goes

better to be dusty than polished

like some store window mannequin

why don't you touch me where I'm rusty

let me stain your hands

when you're pretty as a picture

they pound down your door

but I've been offered love

in two dimensions before

and I know that it's not all

it's made out to be

let's show them how it's done

let's do it all imperfectly

2008-02-22T10:52:00.014-05:00

Pop-Pop...

when i need to go to town, i go out of my way to drive past your farm..... even though it is not 'on the way'. as i crest the hill, i look down into the valley, and see the yellow farmhouse sitting there with smoke coming out of the chimney, and i imagine you as a boy, running through the yard, playing in the creek.

since you died when i was young, this is my living diary of your life... being able to walk the hills where you walked..... this is how i am coming to know you.... this is how i cling to you.

i have pictures of you asleep on our couch, with me curled up on your chest. my parents always told me how proud you were of me and my sisters.... how much you adored us. i remember you taking me to Druthers when i would visit, for your morning coffee with all the other retirees. we both would order biscuits and gravy, our shared favorite.... and you would brag of all my accomplishments to your friends. i remember proudly sitting by your side, driving around town, in your blue pick-up truck.

sometimes i get out the cards i made for you while you were in the hospital, dying from a disease you should never have had. i don't remember making them, but my mom saved them. i hope my scribbly handwriting and rainbows cheered you a little... or was it a bittersweet offering, reminding you what you had to leave behind? i didn't get to go to your funeral.... my parents thought i was too young, and your neighbor babysat me. she tried to comfort me by giving me kool-aid, and candy.... and she answered all my 7 year old questions about where you were going as best she could.

now that i am in your homeland, i see your eyes everywhere i go.... they are my eyes, too.... the most distinct physical feature that i inherited from you. and i tell my memories of you to my son, as we drive past your homeplace.... and when we frolic in the creek by your brother's house. i tell him, "this is where your great-grandfather played.... this is the house he helped build with his own hands..... he would have adored you". and i watch the grin come over my son's face as he hears those words.... and i know you are still here with me because of it.

2008-02-20T20:09:00.010-05:00

In anticipation of the lunar eclipse....

sometimes, at night... alone in my bed....thoughts arise and get too big for my head...
the moon shines in and beckons me, saying, 'come, and keep me company'...
so i rise and go out alone in the dark...there's enough room out there for the longings in my heart..... the endless thoughts and possibilities.... yes, there's room for them all, out in the night breeze....
just the moon for my company... lingering thoughts surrounding me.... dreams and visions beckoning me.... when it's just the moon and me.

(the lunar eclipse starts tonight around 9 p.m... there won't be another one like this until 2010.....)

2008-02-18T09:56:00.010-05:00

I'm Waiting .......

Checking the mail......

in anticipation of this....

I love the people I have met in this blogging community of mine. There are so many wonderful, creative souls. One being L.L. Barkat.... and I couldn't be happier for her as her new book is arriving within the next couple of weeks. I am anxiously awaiting its arrival and my heart is eager for the revelations in it.

Great reviews are already coming in, such as these:

"Stone Crossings walks the reader through the foggy landscapes of life, arriving at subtle moments of true grace. Barkat's courageous, unblinking honesty is a gift, a gift offered in gentle, delicate, literary prose." (Don Everts, author of Jesus with Dirty Feet and God in the Flesh)

"With a storyteller's charm and a Bible teacher's grit, L. L. Barkat weaves memoir, humor and spiritual insight together into a satisfying read. She challenges us to open our eyes anew to the amazing graces God lavishes upon us every day, in ordinary and surprising ways." (Edward Gilbreath, author of Reconciliation Blues)

And there is a party going on here, at her bookclub site, as we all await the arrival. This post is part of the celebration. If you'd like to participate in the "Waiting for Stone Crossings" challenge, go to the Bookclub Wiki and you can post your own 'waiting' picture. It's a great opportunity for us to give a boost to a fellow blogger's creative endeavors. You can also contact L.L. through her blog here, or contact me for more info on how to participate.

2008-02-14T05:00:00.002-05:00

love is...... a father who gets up in the middle of the night when his little girl is puking her guts out, and sits with her in his easy chair, holding the bowl, rocking, and whispering words of comfort in her little ears.... who lends a nonjudgmental and consoling ear when she comes to him devastated and heartbroken because of mistakes she has made and poor choices that have left her in desperation.

love is.... a mother who sews little dresses for her daughter's dolls, who snuggles and reads to her even though she has lots of other things to be doing, who praises every accomplishment, no matter how small..... who's there in the room when her daughter is giving birth for the first time to lend encouragement and support.

love is..... a son that wakes up every morning and greets his parents with a big smile and so much excitement for the day, that he can hardly contain it.... who can change his mom's frown to a fit of laughter in a millisecond with something he says..... who tells his mom he loves her and is sorry for upsetting her, even though it was she who unduly lost her temper with him....who loves to serve his mom breakfast in bed on saturday mornings.

love is ...... a friend who shares coffee, laughter, and tears with you.... who 'gets' you like no one else....who tells you 'leave your son here and go home and rest for the day' when you walk to her house sobbing when life circumstances feel like they are too much to bear... someone you know your deepest secrets will always be safe with.

love is.... a God that stoops down to my weaknesses and draws me up to Him and invites me to dance with Him.... who never turns His back on me, even when I turn my back on Him..... who loves me so much that at times, I feel my heart will burst for the knowledge of it.... who rescued me from myself... and who never fails to paint a glorious sunrise or sunset over my mountains just for me.

" And now these three remain: Faith, Hope , and Love... but the greatest of these is Love."

-1 Corinthians 13:13

2008-02-12T20:33:00.000-05:00

Wordless Wednesday...

'Waiting for Spring'

(Sorry, this will be a repeat for some of my long-time readers. For more Wordless Wednesdays, go here.)

2008-02-11T13:35:00.000-05:00

For Christianne....

Cloths of Heaven...

Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,

Enwrought with golden and silver light,

The blue and the dim and the dark cloths

Of night and light and the half light,

I would spread the cloths under your feet:

But I, being poor, have only my dreams;

I have spread my dreams under your feet;

Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

-W.B. Yeats

2008-02-08T12:38:00.000-05:00

when i was young, i believed in fairy tales... innocence was my guide.

but now fairy tales don't fit into my grown-up world....

and my innocence got left behind.

so now anger and hurt are my guide.... and i don't want you inside.

i can make it on my own.... so just leave me alone.

and you wonder why i can't accept your love?
well, i know what love is.
it's broken promises..... bruises.... and fear.....

so now anger and hurt are my guide.... and i don't want you inside.
i'm ten years old..... i can make it on my own.

but before i go to sleep tonight.....

before you turn off my light...

will you sit here beside my bed,

and read me one more fairy tale?

( a song i wrote about denise)

2008-02-07T10:46:00.000-05:00

( This is my post in support of Blogging for Appalachia week.... a challenge issued by Outdoor Bloggers Summit , encouraging people to post about Mountaintop Removal Mining this week. Even though I post regularly about this issue, I wanted to participate as a show of support. The following is a Letter to the Editor I submitted in September to local papers.)

Dear Editor,

In the midst of our beautiful West Virginia mountains, there is a wolf in sheep's clothing. This wolf touts what a great thing he is for our state, how we wouldn't be able to survive without him. And he is on the prowl......

This wolf is King Coal. For over a century, Coal Companies have been making billions of dollars by extracting coal from our mountains, while West Virginia's people remain the second poorest in the nation. And now Coal Companies have found an even MORE profitable way to mine coal, that basically takes the coal miner out of the picture. This process is called Mountaintop Removal Mining.

Everyday in our state, three million pounds of explosives are used to literally blow the tops off of mountains to get to the coal seams below. So far, over 470 of our ancient mountains have been destroyed. All of the debris is then dumped into the valleys and streams below, so far burying over 1200 miles of streams. And now, with Governor Manchin's announcement that he wants to expand coal operations to make WV a coal-based economy and build 10 coal-to-liquid plants, Mountaintop Removal practices will continue to expand despite the fact that mountaintop removal accounted for less than 5% of US coal production as of 2001. According to a report from the US Geologic Survey in 2000, the Appalachian coal basin will not continue providing coal for much longer.

This is a very short-sighted energy goal, leaving WV's landscape devastated for short-term energy needs for the rest of the country. What does this mean for the residents of Appalachia's coalfields? So far, it has meant catastrophic flooding from the burying and re-routing of streams, the destruction of the mountains that their ancestors have lived in for generations, and contaminated drinking water from leaking toxic sludge dams. Impoundments are notoriously leaky, contaminating drinking water supplies in many communities, and are also known to fail completely. A sludge dam breach in Martin County, KY, in 2000, sent more than 300 million gallons of toxic coal sludge into tributaries of the Big Sandy, causing what the EPA called, “The biggest environmental disaster ever east of the Mississippi."

So far, Governor Manchin and Senator Byrd have turned a deaf ear to the residents of the coalfields, who have been crying out, "Our children are sick, our water is poisoned, and our mountains are no longer there!" Our politicians are only hearing the voice of Coal and its money. Mountaintop Mining is devastating Appalachia and no one knows or cares. It's time to speak up and help our fellow West Virginians. Call your representative and urge him/her to support the Clean Water Protection Act (H.R. 2169). This Act is necessary to protect clean drinking water for many of our nation’s cities and to protect the quality of life for Appalachian coalfield residents. You can go to ilovemountains.org and 700mountains.org to find out more.

"I look to the hills from whence cometh my strength......"

But what if there are no more hills to look up to?

(Sidenote: You can scroll down to Monday's post, to access the ever-growing list of who else is participating)

2008-02-05T16:42:00.000-05:00

Wordless Wednesday...

"The ice was here, the ice was there, The ice was all around... It cracked and growled, and roared and howled, Like noises in a swound!"

- Samuel Coleridge

(more wordless wednesdays here...)

2008-02-04T10:49:00.000-05:00

A couple of Monday tidbits....

It's a drop in the bucket...... but it's a start! Too bad our state's EPA didn't take charge and do something about the 4500 violations, so that the money would have benefited our state.... where the damage was done.

_______________________________________________________

Remember, this week is Blogging for Appalachia week.... a challenge started by Denny and the Outdoor Bloggers Summit, to encourage people to post about Mountaintop Removal Coal Mining. Posts are starting to come in, even internationally. I am going to start a link list here, so remember to let me know if you participate. If you'd like to know more about MTR coal mining, you can click on that label on this post, or go to "Stop Mountaintop Removal" under my links list. Thanks all!

Who's participating:

1. Outdoor Bloggers Summit

2. Outdoors With Othmar Vohringer

3. The Rasch Outdoor Chronicles

4. The Hunter's Wife

5. Gun Safety Innovations

6. Denny

7. Colin-Life....a UK blog

8. Deer Camp Blog

9. Disciple of the Forge

10. Two Square Meals

11. A Blessed Crazy Life

12. Low Country Hunting

13. Pennsylvania Backwoods

14. South Jersey Outdoors

2008-02-02T12:56:00.000-05:00

Oh, the weather outside is frightful..........

The big picture...

And just for sh**s and giggles... (pun intended)

This is what greeted us yesterday morning as we awoke. I ventured outside just long enough to take some pics, but as you can see, I had to watch my step. :) We'll be staying inside and cozying up next to the woodstove this weekend.....

Two things I wanted to pass along, though: First, a friend of mine just started a new blog. She has her first post up, so if you get a chance, click over and welcome her to the blogging world.

Second, The Outdoor Bloggers Summit is declaring next week, 'Blogging for Appalachia' week, and is encouraging people to blog about Mountaintop Removal. I will be participating and encourage any of you who may be up to the task, to also post about it. If you do, let me know and I will link to it. It has the potential to reach thousands if we all do it.
Stay warm, everyone......

2008-01-31T08:43:00.000-05:00

Blogging For the Mountains.........

A very exciting project is in the works, folks! As you all know, I am very passionate about putting an end to the destructive practice of Mountaintop Removal Coal Mining. I have to temper my posts about it, so that I don't drive all my readers away. :)

Well, in the process of blogging about MTR issues and action steps, I have connected with some other bloggers who are spreading the word, including Denny, over at Backwoods Drifter. He is just as passionate about ending MTR as I am, and some lively discussions have been going on over at his site.

In the same conundrum as I about the topic being somewhat all-consuming, he is beginning a blog entirely devoted to MTR awareness, issues, and action steps and has invited me to be a contributing author, along with another blogger. The link is in my sidebar: 'Stop Mountaintop Removal Blog'. I invite you to stop over and tell Denny 'Hi', and continue to check in regularly to see what is going on in the fight against the destruction of our mountains. I am sure more lively discussions will be happening and I am excited that the word is spreading and people are uniting against this atrocity.

"A strand of three cords is not easily broken....."

(Oh, and just a side-note... to get an idea about how bad the Coal propaganda is in our mountains, go to This post by Denny. It's about these ridiculous commercials that Walker Machinery (which supplies the big machinery for MTR sites) has out. )

2008-01-29T20:44:00.000-05:00

Wordless Wednesday...

“In the depths of winter, I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer.”

-albert camus

(Taken on a Sunday afternoon drive..... more Wordless Wednesdays here)

2008-01-28T09:28:00.000-05:00

You Say you want a revolution...........

I am ready for one! After much apathy this voting season, with no candidate capturing my mind, heart, or interests... none with radical ideas about getting America back on track... I think I have finally found my man. This is by no means a proselytizing post to get you to share my opinions on Ron Paul... I'm just excited to find someone with big ideas!

From His Mouth:

"Christ came here for spiritual reasons, not secular war and boundaries and geography. And yet, we are now dedicating so much of our aggressive activity in the name of God, but God, he is the Prince of Peace. That is what I see from my God and through Christ. I vote for peace. "
Values Voter Presidential Debate, September 17, 2007

"We have a lot of goodness in this country. And we should promote it, but never through the barrel of a gun. We should do it by setting good standards, motivating people and have them want to emulate us. But you can't enforce our goodness, like the neocons preach, with an armed force. It doesn't work. "
Republican Presidential Debate, Manchester, New Hampshire, June 5, 2007

"America was founded by men who understood that the threat of domestic tyranny is as great as any threat from abroad. If we want to be worthy of their legacy, we must resist the rush toward ever-increasing state control of our society. Otherwise, our own government will become a greater threat to our freedoms than any foreign terrorist."
Freedom vs. Security: A False Choice, May 31, 2004

"In the free society envisioned by the founders, schools are held accountable to parents, not federal bureaucrats. "
Statement on the Congressional Education Plan, May 23, 2001

"One day I walked into an operating room, to just be an observant, which we would do generally, as a medical resident. They were performing this hysterectomy, which was a caesarean section. And they lifted out a fetus that weighted approximately 2 pounds, and it was breathing and crying. And it was put in a bucket and set in the corner of the room, and everybody in the room just pretended that they didn't hear it. And the baby died. And I walked out of that room a different person... Roe v. Wade is a reflection of the moral climate of the country, because the law was being defied, and then the law was changed, the law sort of caught up with the culture. So even though we work in the legal area, and work politically, ultimately I believe it's an issue of personal morality, and is a reflection of the country, more so than just the lack of laws. Just changing the laws won't be enough, we will ultimately have to have a society that's moral enough, where the fetus deserves legal protection. "
National Right to Life Convention, Kansas City, Missouri, June 15, 2007

In the third Republican debate on June 5, 2007, Paul said about the U.S. military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy:
"I think the current policy is a decent policy. And the problem that we have with dealing with this subject is we see people as groups, as they belong to certain groups and that they derive their rights as belonging to groups. We don't get our rights because we're gays or women or minorities. We get our rights from our Creator as individuals. So every individual should be treated the same way. So if there is homosexual behavior in the military that is disruptive, it should be dealt with. But if there's heterosexual behavior that is disruptive, it should be dealt with. So it isn't the issue of homosexuality. It's the concept and the understanding of individual rights. If we understood that, we would not be dealing with this very important problem."

On Environmental Issues:"The federal government has proven itself untrustworthy with environmental policy by facilitating polluters, subsidizing logging in the National Forests, and instituting one-size-fits-all approaches that too often discriminate against those they are intended to help.
The key to sound environmental policy is respect for private property rights. The strict enforcement of property rights corrects environmental wrongs while increasing the cost of polluting.
In a free market, no one is allowed to pollute his neighbor's land, air, or water. If your property is being damaged, you have every right to sue the polluter, and government should protect that right. After paying damages, the polluter's production and sale costs rise, making it unprofitable to continue doing business the same way. Currently, preemptive regulations and pay-to-pollute schemes favor those wealthy enough to perform the regulatory tap dance, while those who own the polluted land rarely receive a quick or just resolution to their problems. " ( http://www.ronpaul2008.com/)

More Quotes here.......

2008-01-25T08:31:00.000-05:00

Good things are meant to share.......

First of all, anyone that puts Bible stories to banjo music and sings them while wearing bird wings, is a kindred soul. :)

If you haven't noticed by my music player, I've had quite the fascination with Sufjan Stevens as of late. My friends have talked about him for years, but I just discovered his music shortly before Christmas, and was very excited to receive "Sufjan under the tree", as I phrased it, on Christmas morning....

So I'll leave you with a little Sufjan magic for the wintry weekend. Enjoy!

(as a side note, I have put up an original song on my Myspace page. The link is in my sidebar. You'll have to scroll down on the player, as it's the last song..... it is just a simple love song to God I wrote as a young 'un.... ) :)

2008-01-22T21:30:00.000-05:00

wordless wednesday...

"I prefer winter and fall, when you feel the bone structure of the landscape—the loneliness of it—the dead feeling of winter. Something waits beneath it, the whole story doesn't show." -Andrew Wyeth

(more wordess wednesdays here)

2008-01-20T11:45:00.000-05:00

Before there was P.Diddy, there was Uncle John Scruggs.......

Unbeknownst to most people, African-Americans had a huge influence on Appalachian music, including bluegrass and modern day country music. In fact, the banjo, what is considered one of the most traditional Appalachian instruments, was derived by slaves in the southern Appalachians...... they fashioned it from traditional instruments that they remembered from their homeland. The earliest banjos, they made out of gourds.

"Until 1800, the banjo remained essentially a black instrument, although at times there was considerable interaction between whites and blacks in enjoying music and dance—whites usually participating as observers. What brought the instrument to the attention of the nation, however, was a grotesque representation of black culture by white performers in minstrel shows...." ( excerpt from 'A Short History of the Banjo' by Mick Moloney)

Also, traditional flat-foot dancing has African-American roots. Regarding the different settlers in Appalachia:

"The social dancing of the wealthier groups was influenced by the French courts and Playford's English country dances, reflecting the formal and methodical philosophy of the Age of Reason. In contrast, the backwoods people danced lively and boisterous reels, jigs and square dances, brought from their native countries. Into this cultural melting pot were added dance steps copied from the native Indians and the African slaves. The resulting free style step dancing was known as flatfooting, buck dancing or hoofing."

This rich African-American tie to Appalachia has been lost in many ways, but there is somewhat of a revival in it amongst some young, black southerners... including one of my favorite new traditional groups, The Carolina Chocolate Drops. Go here to listen to their music.... I bet you won't be able to keep your feet still. :)

2008-01-18T12:19:00.001-05:00

On My Plate.....

Besides the usual after-holidays crashing period, there has been a lot on my plate this past month. A cold virus has been present in our little family of three since before Christmas, and just seems to keep making the rounds. Sir Laughsalot was home sick from school for almost a week, and we had lots of middle of the night awakenings when cough medicine wore off. Now hubby has it, but everyone seems to be on the mend overall.
Also on my plate has been writing letters to the editor, making phone calls, and being a general nuisance about a mining permit that got approved in our county, with another pending. Despite our county government opposing it, along with the mayor and residents of the town it will affect, our state's DEP approved it. The decision is being appealed and two people are in the process of taking the decision to court, so all is not lost yet. This particular mine will be mostly underground, but some strip mining is involved. The reason it is being heavily contested is that it will take place near a water reservoir that services over 900 residents of our county. Residents of this community have already had their water supply disrupted by previous mining activity, and even in underground mining, there is acid mine drainage that runs off and is deposited in our streams. The second permit that is being sought will dump waste directly into the main river that flows through our town. This river is already struggling in water quality and health and has seen an abundance of fish kills in recent years. It seems absurd after last year's drought that a mining company is being allowed to come into our county and pollute and disrupt our water even more.
And lastly (is that a word? ) on my plate has been some music projects. I have been practicing with Fiddlegirl for an upcoming coffeehouse performance and I have also put up a music page on Myspace. The music page will serve as a way to pass along the mountain songs I love so much, and I will also use it to help spread the word about Mountaintop Removal, as it will be a wide open venue for me. There are already some songs up, and I hope to put some live music up from when Fiddlegirl and I perform locally.... You can check it out here.
Whew! :)
Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!!

2008-01-14T21:07:00.000-05:00

Hello all! First, let me just say that I miss everyone and I hope to start posting again soon. I have had several things going on, not the least being caring for a croupy Sir Coughsalot. :) He is better now and back in school this week. Meanwhile, Coal Companies are going full forward and trying to win the propaganda war and make their last billions before any more people find out about Mountaintop Removal. Please read these links and help!!!!

Shop Kroger.....

Here's Why and Here's How (You have to order the card directly from OVEC)!

These stores take Kroger gift cards, too:

Also, Blogging friend Brandy needs help for her friend, whos community is about to be overtaken by a very toxic coal-fired plant. Please go over to THIS link and see how you can help. Everyone's help is needed to stop this ravaging of Appalachia by the coal industry. Letters to the editor are great, no matter where you live.... and calls only take a few minutes of time. I have been busy with similar projects, one going on in our county. I will post again soon... PROMISE!!!!!

Take care everyone!

2007-12-28T13:48:00.000-05:00

Hearth and fire be yours tonight, and all the dark outside...

Fair the night and kind on you, wherever you may bide.
And I'd be the sun upon your head, the wind about your face...
My love upon the path you tread and upon your wandering, peace.

Song and wine be ours tonight, and all the cold outside....
Peace and warmth be yours tonight, wherever you may bide.
And I'd be the sun upon your head, the wind about your face...
My love upon the path you tread and upon your wandering, peace.

Hearth and fire be ours tonight, and the wind in the birches bare...
O that the wind we hear tonight would find you well and fair.
And I'd be the sun upon your head, the wind about your face...
My love upon the path you tread and upon your wandering, peace.

- Gordon Bok

My parents used to sing this folk song to me.... One of my all-time favorites. I hope all of you had a wonderful Christmas, and I dedicate this song to you, dear friends, for the new year!
I probably won't post again until after New Years because Sir Laughsalot is home from school and I want to cherish these warm and cozy days with him.

Warmest wishes for the New Year.........

2007-12-21T23:21:00.000-05:00

A Humble Christmas Offering......

Ask and ye shall receive.....
Many of you have asked to hear me sing and play guitar, so
my husband helped me figure out how to record myself through our computer..... so I present to you a traditional Christmas carol , very rudimentaly recorded in our computer room.

http://www.box.net/shared/jqoppmpwkc

Merry Christmas, everyone!

2007-12-13T10:31:00.000-05:00

I first saw her at the kid's program at church. She stood out to me amongst all the other kids... a little chubby.. glasses.. straggly hair.. mismatched, raggedy clothes. The boys were picking on her and she was hitting them. I had to intervene in the situation a couple of times, to ask the boys to stop teasing and tell her it wasn't okay to hit. It can be a rowdy crew on Wednesday night, as our church provides a meal, singing time, and classes for community children. A lot of the children come from some of the rougher sections of our community. ... "the wrong side of the tracks", so to speak.

I sensed a troubled spirit in the girl.... an oppressed spirit. I felt empathy for her, and knew she was one to watch out for and give a little extra attention to.

Today I went to Sir Laughsalot's school to meet with a young student I would be mentoring through a new program that targets at-risk children in their early years, before they reach high school and drop out. I hadn't met the student before today, but knew she had moved around a lot, was frequently absent, and was struggling in her school subjects. When she walked in, she grinned a familiar grin when she saw me, and I recognized her as the little girl from church.

As one who doesn't believe that things happen by chance, I had to grin, also.... and wink at God for knowing exactly what He's doing. He knows my heart intimately, and I am grateful that He has entrusted me with another fragile little soul to show His love and compassion towards. Pray for me in this new endeavor.... I can't help anyone on my own, but because I am a vessel for a higher and greater love, I know that love can be channeled through me and out towards this little girl.

Providence...

(As a sidenote, Here is a good article about how one constant and involved adult in a child's life can make a difference.... it focuses more on teenage boys, but it is encouraging. If you have not seen the Frontline documentary it refers to, "Country Boys", I highly recommend it as a must-see film. It follows two poverty stricken and at-risk boys in rural Appalachia through their adolescence. It is heartwrenching, but moving, and really hones in on the need for our communities to surround these kids and get involved in their lives. Your local library probably has it, and it is a three part documentary.

Also, if you would be interested in mentoring a child in your community, go here. What could be a better way to spend a couple of hours each week?)

2007-12-10T12:59:00.001-05:00

Miss Dorothy.....

Click To Play

Miss Dorothy is just one of hundreds of citizens in Appalachia who have been driven out of their homes because of Mountaintop Removal Coal Mining. A lot of these properties are ancestral homelands that have been in a family for generations. If you refuse to sell your property to the coal company, they make living conditions unbearable. To help stop this nonsense, go here. Also, call your congressmen and urge them to sponsor The Clean Water Protection Act, which will help end this atrocity.

Who's linking to this post:

1.Two Square Meals

2007-12-07T13:08:00.000-05:00

My best audience, ever......

Kindergarteners are the bomb! They have yet to develop an attitude of self-conscienceness, nor do they worry about being *cool*.... they are ALL about having fun! I had the privelege of playing for Sir Laughsalot's little class of 13 at a party.... and I must say, that's the most fun I've had playing in a while.

May we all be as spirited and as carefree as these lil 'uns! :)

( A good article on the importance of music and the arts in school is here)

2007-12-05T14:42:00.000-05:00

It's Here........

That southerly wind blew in our first snowfall of the season. The first snow of the winter always brings out the child in oneself. I think I get just as excited as Sir Laughsalot. His school let out early and he came home and started playing in the white fluff as soon as he got out of the car. And, of course, mama had to play, too.... with her camera!

2007-12-03T11:14:00.000-05:00

A Southerly Wind.......

I heard it in the wee morning hours.... It jolted me out of my dream. It shook and rattled the house. Then I heard a familiar Thud....Slam! The sound that I hear when Sir Laughsalot has had a nightmare.... the thud as he jumps out of bed, and the sound of his door slamming behind him as he bolts to our room. He jumped into my bed, wide-eyed... "what is that sound, mommy?"

"Just the wind, sweetie..... it decided to come out and play tonight."

'but it's scary..... i want to sleep with you.'

"No, let's go back to your room and get all tucked in... it's the middle of the night. Do you remember, in our book, how Laura Ingalls spoke of the wind howling in the winter time, rattling their windows and doors, like it was trying to get in? But she wasn't afraid..... She felt safe and warm and cozy, tucked into their little cabin.."

'yes, mommy....'

"Well, that's just what the wind does in the winter. I think it wants to come in out of the cold, too. So it raps on our windows and doors. That's why we should be thankful, like Laura, that we have a warm, cozy house to sleep in....and we don't have to sleep outside in the cold, like the wind."

'poor house......and poor wind', Sir Laughsalot sighed, as he snuggled back under his covers.

I went back to my room and lifted the window shade. The sky was grey and wintry, and I could see all the trees bending and swaying.... and my heart was grateful for this early winter wind.... because it brought a little, stolen moment of sweetness and comfort in the middle of the night.

2007-11-30T12:13:00.000-05:00

Are You Connected?

Pin this badge on your site.

I want to give a very, VERY sincere thank-you to all of you who have been taking action against the destruction of our mountains here in Appalachia. It has been such an encouragement to me and gives me hope. Here is one more step you can take......Enter your zip code above and find out if your electricity comes from Mountaintop Removal Coal. If it does, please take the time to contact your electricity provider and ask them not to buy coal from companies that practice MTR mining. The link will let you know how. This is a wonderful tool and I believe it will have great impact..... If your electricity does come from MTR coal, the link will also tell you what community the coal is coming from. I'd be interested in hearing back from you once you do find out...... It will be interesting to see how many companies buy such coal. Thanks for joining the fight.... the people in Appalachia need your help!

2007-11-30T08:39:00.000-05:00

A quick question for my readers..... My header photograph is not showing up on my computer. There is supposed to be a panoramic view of the mountains. Is it showing up for you? And also, what browser do you use?

2007-11-27T21:28:00.000-05:00

Wordless Wednesday......
Sittin' on top of the World

Taken in Dolly Sods Wilderness.....
For more Wordless Wednesdays, go here.

2007-11-26T09:58:00.000-05:00

Home......

After spending over 9 hours last night in the chaos of Sunday-after-Thanksgiving interstate traffic, it is good to be home. I breathed a huge sigh of relief, as we exited I-81, to make the hour and a half jaunt over the steep, winding mountain road that separates us from 'civilization', so to speak..... the mountain that keeps us from becoming the tourist and retirement destination that the Blue Ridges of Western NC, my former home, have become. The moon was full, and although it was cloudy, it silhouetted the valley below. The barns, farmhouses, and silos were outlined in the dark, against the mountain ranges behind them. I was keenly aware of the vast contrast of driving a mile without seeing a single light, and the scarred mountains that we had just come from... where monstrous vacation homes line barren ridgetops, and the lights from them seem to be floating in the air. I guess 'progress' and development is inevitable, but I hope our little valley stays pristine and untouched just a little while longer.... that our state can keep its claim to being 'wild and wonderful' and 'almost heaven'......

While I was away, I was pleasantly surprised to find myself featured on a great new blog, called Beauty on the Web. Sheila, the blog's author, describes her goal as this, "This is a blog about beautiful things on weblogs. I found that as I was reading other blogs, a brilliant sentence or a stunning photo would pop out and demand to be shared." Head over and check out some of the beautiful things she has found. The post featuring my blog is Wednesday, Nov. 21st. She has also featured two of my favorite bloggers, Colleen and Fred First.

I also found myself the recipient of a "Community Blogger Award" while I was away....thanks to June, my blogger friend.

Its an award that celebrates "people who reach out and make the blogger community a better one". I'm honored and will share this award with others soon. So much blogging love while I was away! Thanks, girls! :)

I hope all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving.... and find much beauty and joy today!

2007-11-19T08:43:00.000-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving!

"Our rural ancestors, with little blest, Patient of labour when the end was rest, Indulged the day that housed their annual grain, With feasts, and off'rings, and a thankful strain."~Alexander Pope

"For, after all, put it as we may to ourselves, we are all of us from birth to death guests at a table which we did not spread. The sun, the earth, love, friends, our very breath are parts of the banquet.... Shall we think of the day as a chance to come nearer to our Host, and to find out something of Him who has fed us so long?" ~Rebecca Harding Davis

"To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven." ~Johannes A. Gaertner

"None is more impoverished than the one who has no gratitude. Gratitude is a currency that we can mint for ourselves, and spend without fear of bankruptcy." ~Fred De Witt Van Amburgh

"Perhaps it takes a purer faith to praise God for unrealized blessings than for those we once enjoyed or those we enjoy now." ~A.W. Tozer

"The unthankful heart... discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!" ~Henry Ward Beecher

"We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures." ~Thornton Wilder

And a little humor to top it off:

"Thanksgiving, man.... Not a good day to be my pants......" ~Kevin James

(We're heading to the Carolinas for the holidays..... Hope you all have a wonderful feast with family and friends as we acknowledge all the blessings in our lives....)

2007-11-15T10:37:00.000-05:00

dirty, pretty things......

"Miss Amy.... I want to f*** you up the ass", a nine-year old student told me, while I was teaching at the Salem School. This is what he thought he should say to let me know he liked me. T-man, as I affectionately referred to him, had been homeless, eating out of dumpsters. I dared not think about what he had seen, heard, or had happen to him, to make him think that's how you show people affection.

*Denise's record came before she did. We sat at the table reviewing her history in anticipation of her arrival to the residential program. I was a Teaching Parent at the time.... my first role at Salem, and she would be in my house. Denise was nine, also, and had never been able to stay in a placement for more than a couple of months because of her out-of-control behaviors. She had set her hair on fire, tried to strangle herself, and attacked her caregivers. The dolled up little girl that walked in, with her black mary janes, pink purse, and bright red lipstick , belied the disturbed little child underneath. She had no 'honeymoon' period, as most children did... where their behaviors didn't emerge for a couple of weeks. Denise launched full-scale warfare almost as soon as she entered the room. I knew I was in for a long summer.....

So what makes a 9 year old girl try to commit suicide, and burn every bridge that someone puts out for her? In Denise's case, she was born to a crack addict, and was left alone, lying in her crib for days at a time, wallowing in her feces, crying at the top of her little infant lungs for food. Her mother would allow men to come in and molest baby Denise in exchange for drugs. As a toddler, she would eat lead paint chips... the only thing she could find. Then when her situation was discovered, she was placed in a foster home, where she was abused again. Then on to home after home after home.... and finally to a mental health institution before coming to Salem.

T-man and Denise are just a few of the thousands, if not millions of children living a daily nightmare. I tend to focus a lot on beauty and peace on my blog... But I am also painfully aware that the world isn't a beautiful place in a lot of ways. It can be a dark, ugly, evil place. Maybe because I've seen the darkness, I can appreciate the light and beauty that much more.

As we approach the holiday season, a lot of us will relish the comforts of home, family, and abundance. That is all well and good.... I will be doing the same. But let us not forget those who don't have the luxury of a home-cooked meal, a mother's hand to hold, gifts to open, or a safe place to rest their head. I believe strongly that we were not put on this earth just to be comfortable, consume resources, and take up space. There is a needy world out there... a dark world. A world that needs people to come and shine some light into its darkness.

Denise was able to stay at Salem for 2 years before being placed back in her county. I not only was her Teaching Parent that summer, but she was placed in the class where I would be a Teaching Assistant in the fall. I was in the trenches with her for 2 years.... fighting alongside the other staff for her life. And I had the privilege of slowly, but surely, seeing LIFE.... a child emerge from the shell. After months of aggression, defiance, and violence on her part, I got to see her first real tear, when she gave her first sincere apology for hurting someone. I saw the film of apathy come off her eyes. I saw her bond for the first time in years.... first with our classroom dog, then with a fellow student, then with us, her teachers.... baby steps. I got to hold her and sing her to sleep at night. But through it all, I didn't feel that I was doing her a favor..... IN fact, I felt like I was the lucky one...to see this miracle, as she was the bravest little girl I had ever met, to open herself up to love after the nightmare of her former existence.

Denise and T-man will probably never be truly functioning members of society. T-man is now living with relatives. Denise is now 18 and in an independent living facility for young adults. She still calls me on the holidays and wants to know what I am going to send her. She tells me she loves me and misses me. And those are precious words in my ear, because I know she means it in the most sincere way she can.

This season, let us be beacons of light in the dark places in our communities. When we pray and Give Thanks, let us not forget to pray and petition on behalf of those who don't have a voice. Let us not forget those outside our comfortable homes, whether it be the lonely widow or widower, an abused child, a nursing home resident, or even a stray dog. Yes, let us be Thankful, but not forgetful......

(*name changed for privacy)

2007-11-14T08:33:00.000-05:00

Wordless Wednesday

"All the Friendly Beasts....."

A friendly young deer seen on a recent outing...which one do you think is more curious about the other? :)

(for more wordless wednesdays, go here. )

2007-11-13T18:53:00.000-05:00

And the Winner Is.......

Thanks to everyone for all the birthday and blogiversary wishes! I especially enjoyed getting some of you lurkers out! :) Catherine is the winner of the give-away..... And on top of the package mentioned, Sir Laughsalot has added a couple of little extras in his excitement over the whole thing.

And for a little nepotism, info for purchasing my mom's Christmas CD is here. You can scroll down to find 'Leading of the Star'. As I mentioned, it is a wonderful instrumental album and would make a great gift for Hammered dulcimer or harp fans. Just let her know I sent ya!

2007-11-06T19:50:00.000-05:00

Wordless Wednesday
"Picture Perfect"

view from my living room window.....

(for more wordless wednesdays click here)

2007-11-04T14:48:00.000-05:00

Little Cabin in the Woods........

It was quite apt that Sir Laughsalot and I had been reading that first book by Laura Ingalls Wilder when we went to this Harvest Party at Fiddle Girl and her husband's cabin.... I could have sworn we went back in time and were at Half-pint's little house in the big woods....

The bounties of the harvest were brought by everyone..... canned and preserved, baked, or made into other tasty dishes.... the tables overflowed.....

Home-made chicken and dumplings were cooked in the kettle over the fire.....

Even Fiddle Girl's son got in on the action and showed his young entrepeneurial spirit by cooking up Hot Chocolate in his own little kettle..... 50 cents a cup, he said.... to go towards buying a steam engine. I guess you can't start dreamin' and schemin' too young....

And if you drank too much hot chocolate, or enjoyed the fruits of the harvest a little too much.... you had to wait your turn to use the johnny-house, as there was no indoor plumbing or electricity.....

We drew the evening to a close by getting our instruments out and playing by the light of oil lamps and candles that were scatterred about the cabin.... Even Sir Laughsalot played along on his harmonica.

Living history.... or maybe a more appropriate term would be 'Living traditions'......

"Smoke hangs like haze over harvested fields, The gold of stubble, the brown of turned earth.

And you walk under the red light of fall..

The scent of fallen apples, the dust of threshed grain

The sharp, gentle chill of fall.

Here as we move into the shadows of autumn

The night that brings the morning of spring.

Come to us, Lord of Harvest...Teach us to be thankful for the gifts you bring us ..."

2007-10-30T09:55:00.000-05:00

Grandfather Ed.......

Another Hero fighting for his family and community..... Ed Wiley. After seeing his granddaughter and her classmates getting steadily sicker from attending Marsh Fork Elementary School, sitting below a huge coal processing plant and Mountaintop Removal Site, he committed to walk 455 miles...... from Charleston, WV, to Washington, D.C. to try to get our politicians to take notice and build the children a new school.

A blog chronicling his journey is here . You have to scroll down to the bottom for the first post. For more info about Marsh Fork Elementary, go here.

It's been a year since Ed's march and despite commitments from state politicians, nothing has been done.

2007-10-26T12:06:00.000-05:00

Keeper of the Mountain......

Hello my friends..... I am back from the Stream Buffer Zone Hearing with a renewed passion and energy to fight the evil of Mountaintop Removal Coal Mining. I finally got to meet some of the heroes of the battle.... the people in the midst of the struggle, enduring great hardships because of Coal, but standing up to the giant. I am not quite done processing the whole experience yet.... but after seeing everday folks stand up and testify, bring filthy water in from their wells and creeks, despite the jeering and laughter of big, intimidating men all around the room sent out by the coal companies, I see the need to fight even harder. I, myself, was jeered as I spoke and was able to see the true nature of the industry that we are fighting. They had absolutely no respect for any of the speakers, even a little 71 year old lady who spoke on behalf of her community.... they constantly interrupted her and one even yelled out: "You're senile, Sit Down and Be Quiet!"

So while I am processing it all, I am going to feature some of the heroes fighting for their land, lives, and community. Firstly, Larry Gibson , a.k.a. 'Keeper of the Mountain', whom I was so honored to meet. Here is his story:

Larry Gibson's family has lived on or near Kayford Mountain since the late 1700's. More than 300 relatives are buried in the cemetery on Kayford Mountain. Larry and his family used to live on the lowest lying part of the mountain, and looked "up" to the mountain peaks that surrounded them. Since 1986, the slow motion destruction of Kayford Mountain has been continuous -- 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Eighteen years after the "mountain top removal" project began, Larry Gibson now occupies the highest point of land around; he is enveloped by a 12,000 acre pancake in what was previously a mountain range.

(As a sidenote.... just recently, part of Larry's family cemetery was bulldozed through, even though the coal company knew it was illegal..... )

2007-10-23T09:35:00.000-05:00

Apple Butter time........

It's that time of year in the mountains..... time for making apple butter. On any given Friday or Saturday, you can drive the backroads of Appalachia and stumble upon families, churches, and community groups gathered around huge kettles, sitting in lawn chairs, tables piled with home-made food cooked by the womenfolk to sustain the workers through the 24 hour process.

This weekend, it was our turn for stirring the big pots at Sir Laughsalot's little, rural school. It was a perfect fall day for the venture.... cool breezes and blue skies.

Selling apple butter is our school's big fall fundraiser along with an ice-cream social in the spring. We feel extremely blessed to live in an area where the small, community schools have been able to remain open due to community and parental involvement. I am a strong believer in small class sizes and parental involvement.... there are only 13 children in the whole Kindergarten class at this school, which ensures a lot of individual attention and more time and energy for creative teaching.

For this particualr venture, we worked in shifts, parents and kids. It was a great opportunity to meet other parents and the kids enjoyed helping out.

When their arms got tired, they played

on the school playground or climbed the woodpile...

I cherished the morning.... the sense of community, coming together to support our kids and school.... the smell of woodsmoke and apples... kids helping and learning to work together.... stirring a huge kettle full of apple butter, outdoors, surrounded by the beautiful, fall-hued mountains......

Our mountain ancestors might have been doing the very same thing on a similar weekend, over a hundred years ago.

Connection, Community, Family, Simplicity......

Life is good!

2007-10-18T21:03:00.000-05:00

HOPE?

Received in my e-mail box last week:

'You are receiving this email in response to your request relating to the proposed rule that the Office of Surface Mining Reclamation and Enforcement published on August 24, 2007. Among other things, the rule would place additional restrictions on the construction of excess spoil fills and clarify the stream buffer zone rule.

After reviewing the requests that we received, OSM has decided to extend the deadline for receipt of comments on the proposed rule until November 23, 2007. We also will be holding public hearings to accept testimony on the proposed rule at four locations on October 24, 2007. All hearings are scheduled to begin at 6 pm and end at 9 pm.

The hearings will be held at the following locations:

· Holiday Inn Charleston ( Charleston House), 600 Kanawha Boulevard East, Charleston , West Virginia .

· Hazard Community & Technical College , Hazard Campus, Jolly Center , Room 208, One Community College Drive , Hazard , Kentucky .

· Pellissippi State Technical Community College , Goins Auditorium , 10915 Hardin Valley Road , Knoxville , Tennessee .

· Ramada Inn Washington, 1170 West Chestnut Street , Washington , Pennsylvania . '

It's still not too late to comment. The link is HERE. Hubby's taking off of work next week so we can go to the hearing nearest us to voice our concern on this new Concession to the Coal Industry. If any of these locations are near you, please go and let your voice be heard.... or just show up for support.

P.S. Blog Post of Note:

Here is one blogger's first-hand encounter with Mountain-top Removal... It's worth taking a look and really shows the scope of the devastation....

2007-10-15T07:26:00.000-05:00

Do you know where your eggs come from?

In my college Ecology class, back in the mid 90's, I discovered the horrors of factory farms. Before that, I had a picturesque view of where my meat and eggs came from: cows lazing about in fields and chickens roaming around looking for worms, just like on the farm I grew up on. I was so horrified at getting an inside look at factory farms that I switched to vegetarianism.

When I got married, I conceded to eating meat again, but I wanted to be assured of where it was coming from. Unless you shop in a Whole Foods/Organic store or buy off of a local farmer, the meat, dairy, and egg products you are consuming most likely come from animals that have lived a miserable life. To find out more about Wegman's Cruelty and urge them to let their hens be free-range, go here. This link also provides information on egg guidelines and making sure you are buying true Cage-free eggs. Another good link is Local Harvest, which can guide you to family farms near where you live.

So next time you are at the grocery store, send a message and buy Cage-Free Eggs!

2007-10-11T10:17:00.000-05:00

The Haunting.......

the whispers come.... in the night...out in my yard...

in the mountain breeze that blows through my hair...

"come, Beloved, there is something more"...

my Lover calls from the mountain, from the hills...

"awake....Awake... can' t you see that I've led you here?

don't turn away...I've been preparing you for this...

this wild romance....you know...your heart knows..."

He's beckoning... "come....I'm waiting....it's time....."

Oh, my heart! There IS a place for a wild, passionate heart in this Christian journey. It's not something that has to be tamed or tempered..... My God put it there to lead me to Him....

Hallelujah!!!

(Journal entry while reading "The Sacred Romance".... a MUST read for anyone who has felt the haunting and has embarked on this journey of faith..... )

2007-10-09T08:27:00.001-05:00

Morning Has Broken......

"Morning has broken, like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken, like the first bird
Praise for the singing, praise for the morning
Praise for the springing fresh from the word....

Sweet the rain's new fall, sunlit from heaven
Like the first dewfall, on the first grass
Praise for the sweetness of the wet garden
Sprung in completeness where His feet pass...

Mine is the sunlight, mine is the morning
Born of the one light, Eden saw play
Praise with elation, praise every morning
God's re-creation of the new day... "

- Traditional Hymn by Eleanor Farjeon

(photo: morning view from my front porch..... )

2007-10-07T11:02:00.000-05:00

If They Play It, I Will Come.......

One of the first things I do when I move to a new town, is seek out fellow old-time musicians. This was a difficult task when we lived in Maryland, as the Appalachian culture wasn't quite thriving there, even though we were still in the Appalachian mountains. But it didn't take long in our new town....

Old-time musicians are usually some of the friendliest and welcoming folks around... and they love to have other people sit in and play with them. Traditional music lends itself to group playing...sitting around and 'jamming'... and the more the merrier.

At the dawning of our second month here, I met my new friend, Fiddlegirl, at the church we've been attending. We immediately hit it off, and she gushed that I was an answer to prayer, as she had wanted to start an 'all-girl' group and had yet to meet many female musicians that loved traditional music. She already plays at local coffee shops and jams, but wanted some others to sit in with her.

We spent some time playing and picking on her porch in preparation for this Friday night jam and we made our big 'debut'. To tell you the truth, she's an answer to my prayers, too, as playing music feeds my soul... but I don't do it regularly. I only tend to play if I have others to play with.

It may not be the Friday Night Jamboree, but I am so glad to have found that the music scene is alive and kicking in our little community..... and will hopefully continue to grow!